Inner Resources
and the power of inviting someone to join you there
Everything feels trendy right now, and I’m having a hard time engaging because of it.
Social media feels like an incessant content-vomit vortex. There is endless implication that none of us who are growing or nurturing a business will get to where we want to be if we don’t fall in line with plastering ourselves on people’s screens.
A couple of weeks ago I recorded a video of me giving someone bodywork (because I felt like I had to), and I was so bored watching it back. Uninspired, even. I’m probably not going to share any of it, mostly because it felt like me rage baiting myself with something I didn’t ever really want to engage with in the first place.
And I think it’s because it doesn’t AT ALL actually showcase what is happening between me and the client. The conversations happening between me and their body and energy. The conversations before, [[sometimes]] during, and after sessions. The way we become more and more energetically coherent with one another as safety and trust is established with every session (I’m not really a one-off girly - consistent and committed work is my preference and sweet spot).
I remember a world without internet. A world without social media, where phones only worked if they were connected to the wall.
Limited access; what a beautiful thing.
And businesses still flourished.
I feel almost a sense of suffering or grief from being so - sometimes unwillingly - tapped in to infinite access, especially in a world that often seems to rest on the most superficial layers of society, relationship, growth and personal development, consumerism, and performance.
I want to build relationships. There is no where I’d rather be than in spaces with people who are committed to exploring what is possible. Who are committed to expanding their capacity for being just beyond their familiar, comfortable edge. People who are discontent with standing at the gates of their conscious thought patterns, and desire stepping through the threshold to see what freedom exists in new ways of thinking. People who have even the slightest inkling, a whisper of a knowing, that there is something more.
Basically, I love partnering with people who aren’t looking to me for answers, but rather want to me to help them see what they can not.
So they can answer their own questions from a place of being in their own core, through a lens of truth. Build self trust. Expand their capacity to hold said truth and trust, and expand their capacity for more life - in response - to come in.
I experienced two coaching sessions for myself last week. That frequency is not my usual, but it was kismetly and perfectly timed in hindsight.
I realized through that succession not only the limitations of my own thoughts, but also how an unconscious belief about my capacity for thought made me feel inferior in regards to my intelligence.
I realized how the stories that I tell, and sometimes use to over-explaining myself, is a mechanism of protection so that I don’t have to feel my own shame about my own self.
And how I am not clear about all that I want for my own life because I believed my inferiority meant I didn’t deserve all of it.
Basically, I realized that there was a belief in me that there was no point to dream to my fullest capacity.
The illumination of all of this was challenging. And I took myself through a vision.
In the vision, I saw my limitation of thought as a straight jacket. I saw myself thrashing about on the floor, trying to free myself. Closing my eyes, I allowed the vision to play out. I let the “me” that I saw in my vision scream, struggle, writhe, thrash, and temper tantrum it out.
Eventually, the straight jacked ripped apart and I expanded into a version of myself that was as tall as Godzilla. Towering over buildings. Taking up space.
It is clear that my job/practice moving forward is to pay attention to the tension I experience in my life between contracting and expanding. What would it be like to stay big when I want to get small? What would it be like to stay open when I want to protect? What would it be like to simply hang out in the space of new awareness of said tension, or even in a similar space of new awareness of choice?
Look, I don’t know about you, but inviting someone else into my process to help me see what I can not has allowed me access to questions I’m not sure I could’ve conjured on my own. With answers that surely aid in the expanding of my ability to dream, my energy system’s ability to receive and hold that dream, and the overall expansion of my life.
This is what I want more access to. My inner resources, more awareness of what’s possible, more engagement of my multitudes.
It reminds me the power of vantage points. And the power we bring back to our being when we allow ourselves choice.
As a coach myself, this is invaluable feedback from allowing myself access to all that is already within me versus aaaaalllll I have access to outside of this meat suit.
May this be a reminder: you have it in you too.
Tallyho,
Jenny
p.s. If you’re local to Northern Michigan, attending my Energy Basics class on March 18 will give you a great tool for the access of self and inner resources that I’m talking about. There are still spots available. Learn more and sign up here.